I sent in my application to Southwestern Saturday, so all they are waiting on before they review my application are my references and my transcripts (which I will have to wait a week for McNeese since I forgot that they are on Spring Break this week-- guess I've been out of Louisiana too long, lol). I am excited!
I am also a little bit torn because I had been undecided as to whether I wanted to actually go to the main campus or stay here in LR and go to the extension campus. The main reason that I want to stay here is because of how this has become my home. I love my church family so much, and, although FBCLC will always have a special place in my heart because I grew up there, FBC Benton has become home for me. I have grown so much through the various ministries I've been blessed to be part of, and I love the people, so much! They are truly family!
At the same time, I know that if this is not where God wants me, I need to be willing to go where He leads me. While I was in Haiti, and ever since then, I have continued to struggle with this. Through the stories we told while we were there, what I was hearing in my quiet times and at church, I really felt He was asking me to let go of staying here and be willing to go wherever He leads me. I finally surrendered that to Him one day in my quiet time and started to feel more at peace about it.
Then, I noticed on our church's website an opening for a weekday pre-school teacher for next year. I was excited at first, because I thought that would be a way that I could stay here. I was still concerned, though, because of what I felt like God had been showing me. I talked with a few friends about it and got varying opinions, and I even picked up an application last week.
The week that I noticed it on the website, I was also preparing to share the story that Thursday night during Global Community at Metro (the BCM). My story? Abraham. (And the promised Savior in Is. 53). Something that I felt convicted about that night, through the discussion that I was leading, was that God told Abraham to leave his native country and his relatives and go to the land that He would show him. Abraham IMMEDIATELY obeyed. He took his wife, Sarah, and everyone in his household and headed for the land God would show them. He didn't know where it would be. He just knew that God knew, and that was enough for him. He obeyed.
As I was telling the story, and especially during the discussion when the students were talking about it, I felt so convicted. I had just told God that I would let go of staying here and go wherever He sent me, yet what was I doing? Trying to find a way to stay here. Again. I still have the application, but I haven't filled it out. As much as I really want to turn it in, I just don't think I can. I am just going to have to trust God and be obedient to what I feel like He is leading me to do. It will definitely hurt to leave my home and my church family here, but I know that I have to be obedient.
Anyway, that's all for now. This is something that I am continually struggling with, so if you will just lift me up, I would appreciate it.