GPS

In traveling home for LA State Bible Drill/Mother's Day weekend, I used my GPS so that I would not get lost trying to find Tall Timbers in the dark. I also used it on the way back to LR just as a precaution, even though I had driven this route several times over the last two years.

When I was trying to find Tall Timbers in the dark, I got really nervous because I was afraid I was going to miss the entrance, and since it had been a year and a half since I'd been there, I couldn't remember which side of the road it was on. Even though I had my GPS on, and it kept showing I had X amount of miles/feet until I reached my destination, I was still nervous about missing it. I think part of this is because my GPS only gives one direction at a time. I prefer knowing when I need to turn and what comes next a few steps before I reach the next point on the map (years of mapquest, I guess, lol). I did trust the GPS and made it just fine, but this experience got me thinking.

I think sometimes my walk with the Father is similar to my preference for mapquest instead of (or in addition to) a GPS. Instead of trusting Him to show me, step by step, one piece at a time, I want to jump ahead and know what is coming next. Throughout this whole semester, I can look back and see how I have had a tendency to get excited when He reveals one little piece of His plan for me, yet it is not long afterward that I begin saying, "But what's next?" or "You showed me this, but what do I need to do about that?" He has been so faithful in revealing to me what He wants for me, and I can truly see His hand on every decision I've made, step by step.

Here are just a few of the ways He has guided me step by step this semester: When I struggled with whether I was supposed to go to Haiti or not and how I was going to pay for it (He provided in AMAZING ways!), He confirmed this in amazing ways. When I was unsure of what school to apply to for the fall, He gradually narrowed it down for me from all of them to four, and then to one. When I debated about what to major in and the concentrations I wanted to pursue, He showed me a way that I can get training in both of my passion/calling areas. When I struggled with fear and with my shyness, He helped me to learn to trust Him to get rid of that spirit of timiditiy and fill me with His spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. When I struggled with whether to go to Fort Worth or to stay here in LR, He was faithful to show me that He wanted me to let go of staying here.

He has faithfully revealed all of these things to me as I trust Him, one step at a time! So why is it that I have trouble trusting Him to continue revealing His will one step at a time?

I am struggling with this right now for several reasons. One reason is that although He has been so faithful to provide for over half of what I need to be able to go this summer, I still have about $2500 left to raise, and I only have a short amount of time in which to do it! A second reason I am struggling with this is that I have no idea of what I am going to do when I get back this summer. I know that I am going to go to Fort Worth in the fall, but I will have a month when I get back in mid-July where I have no plans. I know that I need a job of some kind since my apartment's lease is not up until the end of August, but I have no clue where to look. Who really wants to hire someone for only a month? Thirdly, I am struggling because even though I know He is leading me to Fort Worth, I still don't have any idea of how I am going to pay for it, or where I am going to work once I move up there. I know that He is going to provide for all of this, but the desire for a mapquest answer rather than a GPS answer is hard for me to overcome.

I am going to commit to trusting Him in all of this, wherever He leads me. Just like my GPS got me to Tall Timbers because I trusted it to tell me where to go, one step at a time, I know that my Father will continue to lead me one step at a time. I just have to place all of my trust in Him.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Pr. 3:5-6)