South Asia-- Days 1 & 2

Hi! I am so excited to be here, and I wanted to update everyone on how things have been going.

I had a 12 hour lay over in Newark on Monday, and while I was there, I got to hang out with some really cool people that were also going to be at the same training I was going to. Here are a few "cheezy airport pictures". :

The plane-- it was huge! :)

Cheesy airport photo :)

My new friend, Sarah! We hung out together for our insanely long lay overs-- hers was about 10-11 hours, and mine was 12. We got to know the Newark airport very well, lol, and it was great getting to know someone who was going for the same reason (although on a different assignment). :)

The flight path showing how much farther we had to go. Getting closer! :)

An attempt at taking a picture with my teammate while we were on the plane. The Father answered our requests that she was able to make the flight! Her flight to Newark was delayed, so she was running to make it, but since our flight was delayed by 15 minutes, she was able to get there just in time! Yay! And, as an added bonus, we got to sit together on the flight! Fourteen hours gave us plenty of time to get to know each other! :)

My dinner tonight! I asked the waiter to recommend something spicy (since I love spicy foods!). It was awesome! And I think he was pleased when I said that I could even eat it spicier, because he brought out some peppers!

... And I tried them! Not bad, lol. I think I amused some of the locals who were eating there, because they were staring at me and smiling, lol. What can I say? I was raised in Louisiana and love eating spicy food! :)

We also went shopping for cultural clothing this afternoon, and I bought some really cute outfits. This one is my favorite. I will post pics later of me wearing it. :)

Anyway, that's all for now. I will post more in the next few days/weeks. Internet is not always reliable, but I will try. :)

Thanks again, so much for remembering us when you talk with the Father. We are definitely appreciative, because we know that we could not do it without Him. :)

-Mary Lin-

Today's the Day

I left early this morning for this summer. I am currently sitting in the Newark airport, and my flight to go overseas leaves tonight at 8:15 (EST).

I have been a mix of emotions all day today. Saying goodbye to Mom & Dad was hard this morning, but we had a sweet time of talking to our Father before I left, which helped some.

Along with the excitement that I feel about all of this, this morning, I also was incredibly nervous and kind of scared. This is definitely a huge step out of my comfort zone! My Father reminded me of His promises, though, especially the one I have been claiming all along. I know that He has not given me a spirit of fear/timidity, but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline, and I am trusting Him to keep that promise!

Thank you to all of you who have promised to lift me up. I could not be doing this without all of the extra support from you!

I definitely am looking forward to all that is in store for this summer! I will try to keep this updated as I can throughout the summer. :)

GPS

In traveling home for LA State Bible Drill/Mother's Day weekend, I used my GPS so that I would not get lost trying to find Tall Timbers in the dark. I also used it on the way back to LR just as a precaution, even though I had driven this route several times over the last two years.

When I was trying to find Tall Timbers in the dark, I got really nervous because I was afraid I was going to miss the entrance, and since it had been a year and a half since I'd been there, I couldn't remember which side of the road it was on. Even though I had my GPS on, and it kept showing I had X amount of miles/feet until I reached my destination, I was still nervous about missing it. I think part of this is because my GPS only gives one direction at a time. I prefer knowing when I need to turn and what comes next a few steps before I reach the next point on the map (years of mapquest, I guess, lol). I did trust the GPS and made it just fine, but this experience got me thinking.

I think sometimes my walk with the Father is similar to my preference for mapquest instead of (or in addition to) a GPS. Instead of trusting Him to show me, step by step, one piece at a time, I want to jump ahead and know what is coming next. Throughout this whole semester, I can look back and see how I have had a tendency to get excited when He reveals one little piece of His plan for me, yet it is not long afterward that I begin saying, "But what's next?" or "You showed me this, but what do I need to do about that?" He has been so faithful in revealing to me what He wants for me, and I can truly see His hand on every decision I've made, step by step.

Here are just a few of the ways He has guided me step by step this semester: When I struggled with whether I was supposed to go to Haiti or not and how I was going to pay for it (He provided in AMAZING ways!), He confirmed this in amazing ways. When I was unsure of what school to apply to for the fall, He gradually narrowed it down for me from all of them to four, and then to one. When I debated about what to major in and the concentrations I wanted to pursue, He showed me a way that I can get training in both of my passion/calling areas. When I struggled with fear and with my shyness, He helped me to learn to trust Him to get rid of that spirit of timiditiy and fill me with His spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. When I struggled with whether to go to Fort Worth or to stay here in LR, He was faithful to show me that He wanted me to let go of staying here.

He has faithfully revealed all of these things to me as I trust Him, one step at a time! So why is it that I have trouble trusting Him to continue revealing His will one step at a time?

I am struggling with this right now for several reasons. One reason is that although He has been so faithful to provide for over half of what I need to be able to go this summer, I still have about $2500 left to raise, and I only have a short amount of time in which to do it! A second reason I am struggling with this is that I have no idea of what I am going to do when I get back this summer. I know that I am going to go to Fort Worth in the fall, but I will have a month when I get back in mid-July where I have no plans. I know that I need a job of some kind since my apartment's lease is not up until the end of August, but I have no clue where to look. Who really wants to hire someone for only a month? Thirdly, I am struggling because even though I know He is leading me to Fort Worth, I still don't have any idea of how I am going to pay for it, or where I am going to work once I move up there. I know that He is going to provide for all of this, but the desire for a mapquest answer rather than a GPS answer is hard for me to overcome.

I am going to commit to trusting Him in all of this, wherever He leads me. Just like my GPS got me to Tall Timbers because I trusted it to tell me where to go, one step at a time, I know that my Father will continue to lead me one step at a time. I just have to place all of my trust in Him.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Pr. 3:5-6)

It's Not Always Easy...

Tonight was our last Proclaim meeting of the year, and we had an end-of-the-year party/fun night. We had pizza and played a game where the kids had to guess which adult had which favorite (and of course, we gave them candy if they got it right).

Yesterday was State Drill, and they all worked so hard and did well. We all had a BLAST, and the fun Wacky Time Live game show that was at the end of the day was so fun! Several of our kids got to participate in the different games, and they even got me to go on stage for a silly song, wearing a clown's wig that was way too small when they asked for children's workers to come on stage. (I kind of hid a little, so there was no good picture of that one, lol).

I love these kids SO much! They have become so special to me, and I absolutely love watching them get excited about learning God's Word. I have gotten pretty close with their parents also, and I truly feel like they have become a second family for me.

Tonight, at the end-of-the-year party, I had to tell them that I will not be back next year. :( That was probably one of the hardest things for me to do. I love them so much, and I love my church family. I honestly don't want to leave, but I really feel like God is leading me in a direction that does not involve staying in Benton. It seems like everywhere I turn, as I said in my last post, I am hearing Him say that He wants me to go, and to let go of staying here. Even the story I shared in Sunday School this morning when I taught seemed to scream at me that I need to IMMEDIATELY obey what I feel like He is saying to me, even though it is not what I really want to do. The man in the story wanted to stay with Jesus, but Jesus told him no. He told him to go back to his village and his family and friends and tell them all the wonderful things God had done for him. The man didn't question Jesus. He just went-- and he went not just to his village, but TEN different villages, telling what Jesus had done for him, and everyone who heard him was amazed.

It seems to me that obedience is definitely a theme that I am hearing and learning, everywhere I turn. And not obedience with a hint of hesitation, but IMMEDIATE obedience, without question. I have had a tendency to say yes to God but then hold onto one little thing. Right now, that thing is staying here in AR, which has become my home. It's almost like I have kind of half-heartedly said that I am willing to go, yet I have still looked for ways to stay here. As my mom used to tell me ALL the time when I was growing up, "Delayed obedience is disobedience." If I am still holding onto staying here, I have not truly surrendered that to Him and said I am willing to go wherever He sends me. That is being disobedient.

Tonight, even though it was hard, I told the Proclaim kids and parents that I will not be back next year. I am going to follow God to Fort Worth to go to seminary and continue to listen to what I feel He is telling me. I cried on the way home tonight, because I love those kids so much, and I can't imagine not being with them. God never promises that being obedient and following Him will be easy, but He does promise that He will always be with us. Even though I hate the idea of leaving my church family and my home that I have come to know over the past two years, I know that I have to be obedient. I don't know exactly what God has in store for me, but I am looking forward to following Him, one step at a time.

Eph. 3:20-21: "Now to Him who is able to do immesurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the Church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen."

Obedience

I sent in my application to Southwestern Saturday, so all they are waiting on before they review my application are my references and my transcripts (which I will have to wait a week for McNeese since I forgot that they are on Spring Break this week-- guess I've been out of Louisiana too long, lol). I am excited!

I am also a little bit torn because I had been undecided as to whether I wanted to actually go to the main campus or stay here in LR and go to the extension campus. The main reason that I want to stay here is because of how this has become my home. I love my church family so much, and, although FBCLC will always have a special place in my heart because I grew up there, FBC Benton has become home for me. I have grown so much through the various ministries I've been blessed to be part of, and I love the people, so much! They are truly family!

At the same time, I know that if this is not where God wants me, I need to be willing to go where He leads me. While I was in Haiti, and ever since then, I have continued to struggle with this. Through the stories we told while we were there, what I was hearing in my quiet times and at church, I really felt He was asking me to let go of staying here and be willing to go wherever He leads me. I finally surrendered that to Him one day in my quiet time and started to feel more at peace about it.

Then, I noticed on our church's website an opening for a weekday pre-school teacher for next year. I was excited at first, because I thought that would be a way that I could stay here. I was still concerned, though, because of what I felt like God had been showing me. I talked with a few friends about it and got varying opinions, and I even picked up an application last week.

The week that I noticed it on the website, I was also preparing to share the story that Thursday night during Global Community at Metro (the BCM). My story? Abraham. (And the promised Savior in Is. 53). Something that I felt convicted about that night, through the discussion that I was leading, was that God told Abraham to leave his native country and his relatives and go to the land that He would show him. Abraham IMMEDIATELY obeyed. He took his wife, Sarah, and everyone in his household and headed for the land God would show them. He didn't know where it would be. He just knew that God knew, and that was enough for him. He obeyed.

As I was telling the story, and especially during the discussion when the students were talking about it, I felt so convicted. I had just told God that I would let go of staying here and go wherever He sent me, yet what was I doing? Trying to find a way to stay here. Again. I still have the application, but I haven't filled it out. As much as I really want to turn it in, I just don't think I can. I am just going to have to trust God and be obedient to what I feel like He is leading me to do. It will definitely hurt to leave my home and my church family here, but I know that I have to be obedient.

Anyway, that's all for now. This is something that I am continually struggling with, so if you will just lift me up, I would appreciate it.

-Mary Lin-

Just Some Thoughts...

I don't know what it is, but lately, I have really been missing my family. I thank God all the time for my family here in Arkansas, especially my church family, but lately I have really been missing my parents and "sister" and "nephew" and "niece" (the closest an only child gets to having a sister, nephew, and niece, anyway). :)

Maybe it's because a dear friend and mentor of mine is hurting because of her dad's recent stroke. I remember watching Mom struggle back when Granaw was so sick last year, and I hated being 8 hours away while Mom and Dad were there for Granaw-- I wanted to be there for Mom, especially, because I knew how hard it was on her to watch her mom be so helpless. This new situation has flooded me with memories of last year, and I hurt for her and her family. I pray often for them, but I honestly wish there were more that I could do. I love her like an older sister, and she means the world to me. I am praising God with them for how He continues to work new miracles in her dad's recovery every day, but I also know that it is going to be a long road ahead for all of them.

Maybe it's because of the fact that I couldn't go home to be part of the memorial for my Granaw on Saturday (she was a P.E.O., and the LA state convention was Saturday, and she was one of the ones honored/remembered because she died in the last year). It killed me not to be able to go (Mom wouldn't let me drive home and have to turn right around and drive back), but I knew I was where I needed to be. Saturday was also our Regional Bible Drill, so it was good that I got to be there for the kids, and I really enjoyed watching them quoting God's word and finding things in the Bible. Spending time with them on the church bus and at Shorty Smalls (yum!) was also something that I really enjoyed-- I love those kids like they are family!

Maybe it's because of the fact that my kids at church (a few in particular) remind me of my nephew and niece and make me want to spend time with them even more. (I haven't seen them since I left after Christmas break to come back to Arkansas!) Spending the day with the Proclaim (Bible Drill) kids Saturday really made me long to see my kiddos back home! (I even sent my sister a text asking if I could have a "date" with her children when I go home, lol.) I am definitely grateful that I have the priviledge of spending time with my Proclaim, Root 66 (equivalent of Bible Buddies), and childcare kids, though-- I love them all, so much!

Maybe it's because Easter is next Sunday, and while I am excited that it is Easter because I am looking forward to celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, I am also a little bit sad because this is the first Easter ever that I will not be with my parents. I always looked forward to Daddy's Easter Sunday meal that he would cook (usually BBQ brisket with his yummy BBQ sauce/gravy), and I really enjoyed spending the day with my family after worshiping together at church. I am grateful that I will be able to spend the morning with my amazing church family, worshiping and praising God, but I am also a little bit homesick. I am longing to spend the day with family. I think that maybe I will try to turn my focus onto what I can do for someone else-- if I am feeling homesick because I can't be with my family on Easter, how many others even in my church family are feeling the same way? What can I do to serve someone else, who may be hurting or missing family or just needs some encouragement? I definitely think that this is something that I am going to pray about this week.

Seriously, after typing this and re-reading before posting (the grammar nazi in me, lol), I am realizing how blessed I am with my church family that God provided for me here. I am so grateful to have them! Sure, I may be homesick, but I know that I have people here that have become a second family for me. I am also realizing how self-centered I can be at times. There are so many people who are struggling with things that are much more difficult than being homesick! My church family has given so much to me in the (almost) two years I've been here. How can I give back? What can I do to serve the people who have meant so much to me? Maybe next week, instead of thinking about how much I miss Mom and Daddy, I can do something for someone else...

Anyway, these are just some things that have been on my mind lately.

-Mary Lin-

It's Been a Long Time!

Wow, so I almost forgot that I even had this blog, lol. It's been two years (almost to the date) since I started this blog and made my first posting! So much has changed since then!

I think now, more than ever, the title of my blog is appropriate. I have seen God's plans for me unfold and change so much in the last two years, and it has been amazing! Where to start? Well, I never did find a teaching job in Lake Charles. I kind of got frustrated and a little bit mad at God because not only did I not find a job, I had not heard anything from either grad school! I signed up to substitute teach in Calcasieu Parish, but I was still pretty frustrated since school had already been going on for a week at this point. 

That Sunday, a former youth director at our church (who had known me since I was a little kid) had just moved back, and I was talking with her about how frustrated I was. She said that she was going to pray me into a job, and that she was confident that God was in control. That stuck with me, and that night in my quiet time, I surrendered it all to Him. The very next day, I got a letter in the mail from UALR telling me that I was accepted into the Master's program in Gifted and Talented Education, which was amazing news! The only down-side was that I had to be there in two days for the start of classes! Mom and Dad were able to help me move, though, and we saw God's hand in everything. He provided a graduate assistant position, which covered my tuition and paid me a stipend for living expenses, and I had some awesome friends and family in the Central Arkansas area as well.

God also provided an amazing and wonderful church family for me. I absolutely love my church here in Arkansas! I started visiting because it was where my cousin and her family were, and her husband was on staff there, but I continued visiting and eventually joined because of the wonderful people there who reached out to me and made me feel at home, including our pastor! I began to get involved in different ministries, starting with Bible Drill (big surprise, right, for those of you who know me well, lol), and also orchestra. I also was able to begin working in childcare, with various ages of kids. This year, I started teaching in 1st-2nd Grade Root 66 (the equivalent of Bible Buddies) on Sunday nights. I have really grown to love working with all of the kids that I have, and I learn from them often!

I also became involved in the BCM on campus here, starting with just Bible study on Thursday nights but eventually growing to become more and more involved throughout my time here. I have really grown through this ministry! Last fall (2010), in our small groups, we were going through the Experiencing God collegiate edition study, which talks quite a bit about God's will for your life. God really started working on me, both through that study, and through my quiet times and sermons and Sunday School lessons at church. I had been planning to go on for a PhD in Gifted Education after I graduated from UALR (largely due to the influence of my professors, both current and previous, who encouraged me to do so). Well, as I had my quiet times each night and studied the Experiencing God study, I began to feel like God was leading me away from a PhD. I wasn't sure why or what He had in store for me, but I just didn't have a peace about it. Gradually, God started to reveal His plan for me.

One of the lessons in the Experiencing God study talked about God's will in circumstances and looking back at spiritual markers in your life. Well, God reminded me of some pretty important spiritual markers in my life that I had pretty much forgotten or ignored. When I was in the 4th grade at GA Camp at Tall Timbers, LA, I felt like God was calling me into missions or ministry of some kind. At the time, because I was so young, I was encouraged to wait and see how God would continue to lead me through time. I didn't think much else about it until I was in the 7th grade. I went to Super Summer at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, TX, and I again felt like God was calling me into missions or ministry of some kind. This time, I made my decision public to my church family. I continued in this direction for a long time, until somewhere around my junior or senior year of high school, when I began making decisions about college and a major. I started listenting to what others thought I should do instead of what I knew God had called me to do, so I started college as a music major. I eventually changed my major to Social Studies Education and planned to go on for a Master's degree in Gifted Education after graduation.... and from my last post, you know the rest, lol.

Anyway, God reminded me of all of this. I was still pretty unsure about what to do, so I sought Godly counsel from some very dear friends and family at church and at Metro (the BCM). (Thank you, Meridy, Ashley, Laurie, Pastor Rick, Bit, Stacy, & Krystal!) I finally decided to obey God, and now know that He is calling me into missions. I also have a passion for kids (I always have-- have wanted to be a teacher in some form for as long as I can remember), so I am not exactly sure how all of this is going to turn out, but I know that God is going to use both passions to work together in ways that I can't even imagine! I love God's promise in Ephesians 3:20! I am planning to attend seminary in the fall and get a Master's in Christian Education with a double concentration in Missions and Children's Ministry, and I am hoping to one day serve God as an M.

I've had some amazing opportunities this semester to grow, which God has used to confirm even more the call He has placed on my life. In March, I had the opportunity to go to Haiti during Spring Break with Brad & Krystal from Metro and Krystal's teammate, Monica from when they were J-men, along with a group from the BCM at U of A Fayetteville. Krystal, Brad, and Monica were leading a training for local CPs, while the rest of us were going out into the villages. 

While we were there, God stretched me WAY out of my comfort zone! I am a pretty shy person by nature, and it is hard for me to talk to people I don't know well. The three of us on the BCM team went out into several villages while we were there and just talked to people, played with kids, etc. The first day we went, we had two translators and three Americans, so I was with another person and ended up letting her do most of the talking. This bothered me because I knew that I was not supposed to stay quiet, and I really began to pray 2 Tim. 1:7 because I knew I needed to let go of the spirit of timidity I'd had and trust God to give me His spirit of power, love, and self-discipline.

The next day, we had three translators, so each of us had a translator with us. This meant that I actually had to talk, lol! Well, God was faithful and really showed me His power! In the first house that we stopped, I had the amazing opportunity to pray with a woman to become a Christian! Wow! God gave me the words to say, and He was faithful to use my weakness for His glory! Throughout the week, I got to pray with two others to become Christians also, and each time, God gave me the boldness to share and the words to say! Between the three of us on the BCM team, we got to pray with a total of six people to accept Christ! How amazing! I am still in awe of God and what He did in Haiti!

I have another opportunity for this summer that I am really excited about! I applied through the Company to go to South Asia this summer for six weeks! I will be teaching English there and helping the people work on their conversaitional English skills. If you could just be lifting up me and the team that I will be meeting up with, I would greatly appreciate it! Ask that our conversations will be God-ordained, and that He will get the glory.

For me personally, remember 2 Tim. 1:7-- this is definitely a verse that I have had to hold on to all the time! I know that He has not given me a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline, and I am holding on to this promise! Ask also that I will be able to raise the support that I need-- with all of the expenses together, I am going to have to raise just over $6,000! I know that God is going to provide, though! He is so faithful and amazing-- He provided every penny that I needed to go to Haiti, without me having to do much at all! I didn't even have to send out support letters-- wow! So, I know that $6,000 is nothing for God!

Anyway, this is all for now! I am planning to actually update this more often (much more than twice in two years, lol), and even post updates this summer as I work in South Asia!

-Mary Lin-